sex & gender

Tatler: dating post-divorce

into the wild world of dating after divorcing in my thirties, I set out to hack the game in the same way I had tackled other life goals, from getting fit to optimising productivity. Man-landing, I figured, was a numbers game. From my ‘back of a cocktail napkin’ calculation, I predicted that around 50 first dates should yield approximately five second dates, among which surely at least one would prove to be a good match. It hadn’t been hard, in my early twenties, to find what I’d hoped would be a lifelong companion – how different could it be this time round? And while ideally I’d find a partner to cosy up with over the Sunday crossword, in the meantime I was perfectly content to enjoy the company of Messieurs Wrong. After the gut-wrenching process of trying to duct-tape a marriage together and watching it disintegrate anyway, fun seemed nothing short of necessary.

The tools we use to meet and mate have changed more in the past 10 years than in the previous 10,000. It’s hard to overstate just how much this seismic shift has changed the dating game…

To read the full article, order the March 2021 issue of Tatler

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